funyarinpa & friends.

1. I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.

2. It'd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting

3. 2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.

4. You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.

5. Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat

6. like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too

7. Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?

8. They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

9. you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.

10. You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water.

11. Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising.

12. I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?

13. I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Owari. I just watched her use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of her ramen.

14. I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...

15. I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."

16. You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas....

17. I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?

18. So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"

19. Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.

20. Komaeda is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.

21. It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die

22. In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.

23. Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.

24. We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".

25. No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.

26. What conversation warrants the word "penis" in comic sans?

27. you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

28. You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles

29. I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.

30. Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.