funyarinpa & friends.

1. Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.

2. Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3

3. Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.

4. it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!

5. Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.